


A Song of Conveniences and Plot Armor

by ohthatsabaseball



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Other, it's just a prank bruh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 19:10:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7400155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohthatsabaseball/pseuds/ohthatsabaseball
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jon uses his plot armor to win the game of thrones</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Song of Conveniences and Plot Armor

Just as the sun rose, Jon traveled to the other side of The Wall, his half-sister, Sansa, and a lot of others unimportant characters followed him.

– Everyone, this is something I, ex-lord commander of the nights watch, and now apparently king of the north, must do alone. – Jon shouted all the people that followed him.

– Why? – Asked someone.

– Because that is what the protagonist must do, when the climax comes, he must show the audience how badass he is.

– What are you going to do anyway?

– I am going to kill the King of the Night – He said, full of determination.

–Who is this guy again?

–The bad guy, and I’m the good guy, so it’s my job to kill him.

–Brother are you sure of this? – Sansa’s voice was weak and full of fear – what if he, likes, kill you, which is probably going to happen.

–No sweet sister. you see, I’m wearing my plot armor, the story will just bend itself for my needs, I’m the dude who got resurrected, I’m who was going alone against the whole army of Ramsay, and at the end of the battle, I did the most prideful and inconsequent thing: I 1x1 the bitch, also I have the Targaryen blood on my veins. Btw, I should change my name to fit it, so Jon Stargaryen? No wait. Jon Tark, yeah that’s awesome. Also no one cares about your character development, who cares if you were pushed around your whole life and suffered a lot just because you wanted a happy life with your boyfriend that turned out a psychopath? Or how you become such a much more interesting character after being raped and traumatized. Nah, the people want the perfect white hero. Goodbye losers!

And mounted Jon Tark went on the journey to save the world, mounted on wolf, wearing his plot armor, a pair of aviator shades and nothing more, they passed through white hills, frozen lakes and those tress with spooky faces, basically they passed through all the generic snow forest scenario.  
However, since everyone can teleport, he simply used his magic to find the King of the Night. The frozen old man was found on an open space, accompanied by a lot of zombies that just stud there like unprogramed NPCs, Jon slowed down and made an really dramatic walk until the his hunt.

–Hello – Greeted the king of the Night – How can I help you?

–I’m Jon Tark, and I’m here to kill you.

–But why?

–Because you are the antagonist, duh

–No, you see, A Song of Ice and Fire was always a story about gray characters, the heroes have flows, and you can understand and even support the actions of those who are more ill-mannered, You can’t just wish to kill the bad guy with an army of zombies, that supposedly have an dark backstory because of the visions Bran saw. Everything that happens are just consequences of all those years of war and…

–Oh shut up!! – Jon shouted, and with an sharp and direct slash he cut the other men in a half.

But he did the anime thingy and the cut only got effect after he holstered his sword.

Also the cut cleaved and killed all the other zombies.

Fuck it, it even cut a mountain in a half.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if this story looks too cringe, i just wanted to write some pseudo critic thing


End file.
